They never cease to EMBARRASS you!

This, of course, is true of all children, but Daniel's autism leads to several "extras" behaviour-wise in his armoury. When he gets fretful or excited, for example, he makes odd noises a little like growls and zones out of whatever is happening. When he wants to escape a situation, he literally runs. He also gets incredibly worried about things that wouldn't even occur to you and I, and causes red cheeks (me) and polite "look-at-that-naughty-little-boy-she-can't-keep-him-under-control" smiles (other people) with his sudden repetitive shouting of really quite inappropriate things.

As I live and learn, I've begun to figure out that it's best to premeditate and pre-empt as much as possible. He has a collection of several large elastic bands which accompany us anywhere - twisting these helps to reduce his stress and focus his mind on something when he's nervous. Chewits and lollipops can be lifesavers for quiet-making - if you can get them to his mouth fast enough. Seating him strategically between several adults who can deal with him can make all the difference, too.

But in a new situation, all bets are off.

Yesterday was my cousin's wedding. Daniel's first wedding. I was looking forward to taking him and thinking he would enjoy it, which he did...or rather, enjoyed using every single public toilet in the hotel (toilets are his current and completely inappropriate obsession) and eating the same things he eats at home - chicken nuggets, chips, chocolate cake - in the restaurant.

However, cringeworthy moments abounded. My cousin and her immediate family know about Daniel's condition, of course, so I wasn't concerned what they thought - but I felt those disapproving stares on me (bad mother guilt syndrome again) from the groom's family and all the family friends who we didn't know from Adam. From blurting things out during the service until we plied him with Chewits, to announcing he needed the toilet at the top of his voice generally every few minutes, and eating the dessert that was meant for his Nanna, he was on classic Daniel form.

He became extremely concerned that my cousin's legs had fallen off, because you couldn't see them under her wedding dress. She flashed her legs for him to allay his worries. Of course, Daniel saw this as permission to look under other ladies' skirts, which I caught him doing UNDER the table during the wedding breakfast to a lady I didn't know at all.

He also couldn't contain himself during the "in between bits" when there was no food to eat, no proceedings to watch and nothing much for him to do, though we kept him busy for as long as possible blowing bubbles from cute little tubes which were wedding favours, playing with balloons and counting the bead table decorations. He began to weave away from us and dart across the function room back into the restaurant, his aim being to reach a toilet before Shaun or I caught up with him and rugby-tackled him to the floor. Ever seen the show Balls of Steel and Neg's Urban Sports? You'll know what I mean when I say he invented an urban sport all his own...

Despite all this, and having to take it in turns to babysit in the evening as he point-blank refused to attend the disco (and no, you can't "make" Daniel do things his heart is set against like you would, presumably, try with a child without his challenges - not only because he would make your life not worth living for it, but because he himself would get ridiculously worked up and distressed), he did look cute in his little shirt and tie, he did pose for photographs quite agreeably, and he did stay quiet during the ceremony with aid of said Chewits.

He was the best that he could be, and I was proud of him, but the result is still that myself, my partner and my mum are all ready for bed NOW at 3pm the following day and incapable of doing very much at all! When asked by my aunt if he'd liked the wedding and wanted to go to another wedding, his response was a very emphatic NO-HO-HO (his new word for no) - this doesn't particularly bode well for if and when Shaun and I get married!

Here is us in all our finery.
And don't worry, we did all have a lovely time, bride and groom included - I just thought I would give readers the comedy spin on the day!