Every decision I make has to be carefully weighed up against Daniel's autism.
The biggie at the moment is whether or not to try for a baby with my new partner before it is too late - given that I'm 36 now! There are health issues to consider as well as I have IBS medication I would have to stop taking as well as having my IUD removed.
I think Daniel would be ok with it, I spoke to him briefly about a baby brother or sister in the car today and he seemed quite amenable, though thoughtful, about it.
Even into the future I feel like decisions are looming over me such as what to do about high school if he isn't going to cope at that point. As I'm a teacher homeschooling may be an option though I would worry about attempting to teach high school maths and science! Even though I haven't had another baby yet I can't help thinking about the fact that Daniel must be provided for with some sort of care plan, residence and/or job - whatever he is capable of at that point in the future - before Shaun and I are not here anymore because I wouldn't want the responsibility falling on an unsuspecting sibling with a right to a life of their own.
And of course there is always the worry that if I have another child, that child too might suffer from autism or asperger's. It's also completely likely that they won't. Many doctors have said it's usually genetic and only half of Daniel's genes (my side) would affect another baby as it wouldn't be with the same partner. However I cannot trace autism in my family other than Daniel and besides I think it's quite likely his delays and behaviours could have been caused when he suffered lack of oxygen to the brain at birth due to a collapsed lung. But the worry is always there.
Still, I suppose it pays to be prepared, and then whatever goes better than expected is a bonus!
Every parent has these worries. It's not just the parents with children that are different.
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ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if I offended you with what I posted honey: I wasn't saying that parents of children without autism don't have any worries.
ReplyDeleteI was just trying to illustrate the fact that Daniel's particular issues come into most every decision I make.
I will edit the part about worries that many people never consider as it was more subjective and just what I was feeling at the time - though I believe I mentioned several things that are quite particular to dealing with autism and wouldn't have added that part if I didn't.
Not offend hun, just want you to know that you're not alone in the worries especially since Robbie was a premie and has CP. I think every parent worries though that something might go wrong.
ReplyDeleteThanks hon x
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